Buried under sadness and guilt.

Last night found me viewing pornography; the following morning I badly tweaked my back bending over to tie my shoes. My first thought: God is unhappy with me and is reminding me of my status as a sinful, prideful, nasty little creature. Why not? Blessings for obedience, curses for disobedience. I think they call it justice.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have an hour with Jesus every year or so. I’d ask my questions and he’d tell me how the answers aren’t easy and I’d be ok with that. Then perhaps he’d tell me this condemnation is not his hope for me; that the devil has a God-mask and dons it whenever things go south. Hard to believe though. I prefer the punitive God who gives us what we deserve. Behavior over relationship, any time.

&josepharthurs_falsetto
“Innocent World“

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From across the pond.

It is always odd to call out profundity, perhaps ironic, but this advert is strange and beautiful. Thoughts of theology are not far from mind.

[click here]

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Still here…

…just taking a short hiatus. I’ve recently found energy to write new music and it is so wonderful to spend creative currency on producing and not just talk of producing. (Not to say I don’t enjoy that as well). Perhaps I’ll post some more here in blogland. You have to promise to listen properlike with headphones and not on your laptop’s shitspeakers.

Now go let your heartache.

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