The ground may just open up and swallow me.

Dear God,

WTF?

Me.

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I keep coming back to this.

Popular atheist, Sam Harris criticizes Christians because they are often motivated to feed the hungry, love their enemy, etc. not because of their love for people, but because of their fear of God’s wrath. This is akin to how I love. I am driven by my fear of pain; I’ll keep you happy enough to prevent my own hurt, disappointment, embarrassment, or strife. At my very best I can choose to love someone because they are God’s creation, or they reflect the image of God, but even then, I am operating out of obedience in order to score points in eternity. Is obedience to God’s mandate, love? Sure, but I can’t imagine being driven out of simple obedience. I can’t name a good reason to love. Perhaps you begin to love out of self-serving efforts and then it becomes something that just feels good for everyone and you don’t rely on a motive. Doing something that feels good–how trivial. Love feels good, I suppose. I’ve rarely been there. In the end…. every lover for them self.

This is such blathering.

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