As a Big Brother you are occasionally called upon to see pure shite films, case in point. If he were my own son I don’t think I would have subjected him (and me) to this; I usually let him pick the film he wants to see, but after this turd I am going to rethink this approach. Michael Bay hates women, intellect, logic, joy, la la la. I gave him twenty dollars this weekend. Drat.

Very unlucky. Nothing good to see here, not even 80s nostalgia or worthwhile ‘Coreys’ slumming. Is it considered slumming when this may be their best feature film?

A train wreck of Pacinoan magnitude. I quite fancied Niccol’s ‘Gattaca’, but after this and the very scheize ‘Lord of War’ I may just have to hate the whole catalog.